As a substitute teacher, I hear it all. I sub for kindergarten through high school, so the topic of conversations I have with students vary from pet stories to break ups. No matter what age, I'm bound to hear something interesting.
I hear about bathroom trouble:
After returning from the bathroom, "I forgot to poop!" (Kindergartner)
"My mom had a baby five days ago. She pooped it out." (1st grader)
7th grade boy muttering to himself, "I have to fart, but I don't know which way to lean..."
I get a lot of questions about my age:
"How old are you?"
"Are you sixteen?"
"Do you have kids?"
2nd grader, "Are you in high school?"
Me, "No, I already went to college."
2nd grader, "Yeah right!"
Even high schoolers themselves, "Are you a new teacher or something? You look kinda young."
Sometimes, I practically laugh in their faces:
"Miss Fish, Zach is coloring on his face in red marker!" Yes he is, and his arms are covered too.
"Miss Fish, I told Ann Marie to take a chill pill, and she said I was calling her a drug addict." (4th grader)
But, I know they adore me ;)
2nd grade girl, "Oh, we get my favorite teacher today!"
5th grade boy, "Hey Sub."
10th grade girl says to me, "Hi Miss Fish," and to her friend, "I like that teacher."
Best of all, some senior boys asked another substitute teacher, "Who is that? Is she a new girl? I'm gonna ask her out!" I'm pretty sure high school boys did not talk about me like that when I was actually a high schooler (if they did, I was unaware) Better late than never? Not so sure that applies here...
Invariably, some kids are adorable, some kids are little devils, and some kids are just plain weird.
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